My Crazy Parkinson's Life, Feeling the Pain, a tribute to Tim Lane
My Crazy Parkinson’s Life
Feeling the Pain; A tribute to Tim Lane
If you would have told me that I would be back in front of my computer less than 24 hours since I finished Mike Mackovich’s tribute, writing another tribute, I would have called you crazy. Yet here I am, and sadly this time our fallen fighter is volunteer extraordinaire, Tim Lane. My heart goes out to all of those who lives Tim has touched.
I have taken a long time in writing this because it still feels almost surreal to me that Tim is gone, and it has been hard to find the right words to truly express my feelings. I was going to write something light and funny, because let’s face it Tim was a fun guy. But as I read what I had wrote, it began to sound like I was trying to come across as Tim’s best friend, which I was not. But what I am, is someone whose life was impacted by Tim, and I never really had the chance to say thank you for all the effort Tim put into me, this is that “Thank You”.
Tim lived by the three words that sat beneath his logo, Dream, Believe, and Achieve. Tim gave me a pair of his signature boxing gloves and inside the velco strap he had those words printed so every time you put the gloves on you were reminded to dream, believe, and achieve. And if Tim was around, he would come over to me and rip open the Velcro and say, “dream, believe, and achieve, yea Mark we are going to make a difference”. Tim never knew this, but Orlando did, the only time I wore those gloves was when Tim came to the gym, they were too heavy for me, but I did not want to hurt his feelings. The last time I saw him, he made a comment about how good the gloves were holding up, if he only knew.
When Tim and I first met, we never talked about his world kickboxing championships or his other accomplishments, he was not interested in that, all Tim wanted to talk about was what we could do to make life better for people living with PD. But like most people, Tim knew very little about PD, but he quickly learned two things, no two people with Parkinson’s are the same; and PD is formable foe. So, Tim’s dream was to develop a program that would help people with PD physically and spiritually using stick boxing as it’s center piece, and I was the guinea pig.
Once Tim started working with me, he began to understand the physical limitations I have to contend with because of PD. So, Tim being Tim, shifted our focus to a more spiritual approach. Tim knew I giving 100% physically, so Tim thought it might help if I was more in touch with my inner ninja. This was going to be a lot harder than Tim thought; he did not know it when we started, but he would soon find out that I have the attention span of a three-year-old. Tim tried his best to teach me about Ying and Yang and oriental philosophy, to no avail. But that did not deter Tim, if anything it motivated him, and eventually I caved to his pressure and paid more attention. I didn’t understand it, but I could repeat it back to him, so mission accomplished.
I think it was around that time that Tim realized that I was fighting a battle that I could never win. But he also saw that I was a person not willing to accept that defeat without a fight. It was because of that determination and my willingness to share my feelings and emotions with others, that Tim invited me to speak at an MVP meeting. MVP was another group that Tim had poured his heart and soul into. After struggling through an hour of yoga, Tim introduced me to the MVP group. As we sat down on the mat, Tim leaned over and said, “find the right time and jump in there with your story”. I listened for a while and then I heard someone say; they did not laugh anymore, that was the opening I was looking for. I honestly cannot tell you what I said, but whatever it was, it must have been good, because Tim was a happy man. He showed me off like a prized race horse. When I was leaving, Tim smiled and said,” damn Mark that was good, we need to get stories like yours out there for people to hear”, you could see the wheels turning, Tim had seen his dream and now he believed his goal was achievable.
Tim’s enthusiasm was infectious, so when Tim asked to be on his podcast, I was flattered. We talked before going live, Tim could tell I was nervous, he smiled and said, ”just be yourself and it will be great”. At the commercial break Tim and the engineer were pumped up, Tim said “this is what this shows about, keeping hope alive”. When the podcast was finished, Tim was bouncing around like a golf ball across a parking lot, he said” Yea Mark, you killed it”. We took pictures doing the crane technique from “Karate Kid, good times.
Our next adventure was the movement fair. For Rock Steady Boxing Green Valley, the movement fair is a big event for us. It allows us to demonstrate our program to others living with PD, in a live setting. But during covid it was turned into a drive-thru affair downtown, it was not anyone’s fault, but it was a bust. A small crowd made up of mostly college volunteers, and a few family members were in attendance. But as they say, the show must go on, small crowd or not, we took to the stage to perform a stick boxing demonstration that Orlando put together. Tim and Orlando had been working hard to bring Tim’s stick boxing dreams to fruition, and it was showtime. Boxing sticks were handed out to those who were in attendance, and off we went. With YMCA blasting away and everyone moving their arms to the beat it was sight to see. Standing on that stage next to Tim watching his face as the crowd got into it, was something I’ll never forget. He kept looking over at me grinning from ear to ear, even behind the mask, Tim could not hide his pleasure. Orlando had taken Stick boxing in a new fun direction and Tim loved it. After our demo Tim was talking 100mph, and the ideas were flowing, the dream was alive.
About 6 months after the Movement Fair Tim called. Tim wanted to talk about the future of stick boxing and what roll I would play in it, but it was bad timing. I had just put my wife in the hospital for covid, and she was very sick and I wasn’t sure she would pull through. To make matters worse, my father who is deaf and has Alzheimer’s and had also tested positive for covid; was taken by ambulance to a different hospital. It turned out to be a very serious UTI, but at the time I did not know that. I could not see him or speak to him, so as you can imagine, I was a mess. As Tim and I were talking, he sensed something was wrong. Tim asked me if I was ok, he said I sounded different. At that point, all of my bottled-up emotions came out, and I lost it. Tim hung in there, and let me cry it out. I felt bad unloading on Tim like that, but there was just a little too much going on at that moment. After I got it all out, Tim asked me if I was willing to take stick boxing on the road with him and Orlando, renting a bus the whole nine yards. I told him I was in, as long as we weren’t flying, Tim laughed, but I wasn’t kidding.
I didn’t hear from Tim for a while, but then one day right before Christmas at the gym, I looked out the window, and there was Tim standing there with his red Christmas stocking hat handing out cookies with Dorothy, the world was returning to normal. After a big Tim Lane hug, he announced he was coming back to RSB after the new year, everyone was thrilled.
The new year came and so did Tim and his high energy personality. He went right back to busting my balls about my “chicken wings” hitting me in the ribs every time he walked by. One day, my boxing was at an all-time low, I was having a very rough day, my brain was fried, nothing was working right, and I was struggling and Tim knew it. Tim was trying to help, but it only made things worse. Tim could feel my frustration and pulled me aside. He said “I know it’s hard for you right now, but remember everyone in this gym looks up to you, and I want you to be the baddest mother f---er in this gym, eye of the tiger baby, we can do this, you and me”. I started laughing, Tim asks, “what’s so funny”? I said, “was that your 12th round motivational speech” Tim said “that’s the fighter in me coming out, I want this for you”. I had never seen Tim so intense; honestly, he wanted this for me more I did. Because a long time ago I accepted the fact that I stink, but I would never tell Tim that, so it was full speed ahead.
It feels like I knew Tim forever, but it was just few short years. Yet those years provide me with countless memories that I will never forget. I will close this out by telling you about a conversation Tim and I had when we first met. We were talking about PD and the struggles people face in their day to day lives living with PD. I told Tim I had read an interview with Michael J Fox. In the interview Fox said, that if you asked his children to make a list of things about their father, Parkinson’s would not even make the top ten. My response was, I did not believe that; I said my life will be defined by my battle with PD, and how I fought it to the end. My death will define me, like it or not, I will be remembered for that struggle.
I have had a long time to think about that conversation and Tim’s passing, and what defines a person? Is it the number of l “likes” on Facebook, or followers on Instagram, or is it the number lives you have touched during your life time? In Tim’s case it will be the ladder, he poured his heart and soul into everything he did, and did it with love and enthusiasm, that will be Tim Lane’s legacy. Tim dreamed, believed, and most of all, archived more than he ever knew. Tim was a larger-than-life personality, who’s spirit lives in all of us who knew him, and he will never be forgotten. Godspeed Tim, and next time we meet I am hoping to have a different pair of wings.
By Mark Hitechew